Captain Simian
by Ham Atom
Summary: Enforced rest after his adventure through the quantum mirror lands Daniel squarely on Jack's couch. Jack decides Daniel hasn't seen enough cartoons. Origin story for a certain infamous nickname. Jack and Daniel friendship. Team as family. Oneshot.


A/N: So the moment I first saw "The Serpent's Lair" way back when, I immediately thought of this concept. Even timeline-wise it made sense to me. Like I literally just assumed that it was true. I don't know if anyone's made this assertion before, but I've never seen it done. Of course, it could be that I'm just a little nuts. But, you know. Them's the breaks.

This is very much a Jack and Daniel friendship/family story. I love Sam and Teal'c. Love them. But unfortunately, they're not here much in this little oneshot. This story has similar themes to my other story, "Smart," and really, this is sort of a thank you to those of you who reviewed that unexpected fic so sweetly. You encouraged me to actually write down this crazy little idea that's been wandering around my head for so long. Thank you! Or...I'm sorry! ; )

Anyway, this story begins end of season 1, directly after that scene at the beginning of the episode "Politics" where Daniel's getting patched up from his encounter with the quantum mirror in "There But For the Grace of God," and it ends with the last scene of "Serpent's." So...spoiler alert. But really, the series is over, and this is season one stuff, so if you're reading fic for this series...you probably don't need a spoiler alert.

* * *

Watching Daniel Jackson, multiple Ph.D. holder, archaeologist, linguist, anthropologist, and peaceful interplanetary explorer, trying to covertly wriggle his way out of an arm sling he'd been strictly forbidden to mess with was…well, actually, Jack figured, it was about par for the course.

"Leave it alone," he ordered, and it would've sounded more exasperated if he wasn't a little amused at the glare turned his way.

Daniel was sitting on his couch, t-shirt and sweats and his arm in a sling, and he might as well have been a kid in the principal's office swearing blind that _he_ hadn't been the one to start that fight. "I hate this thing. It rubs the side of my neck. And it looks ridiculous."

"Warner says it stays on; it stays on. And besides, no one can see you right now." Since when is he concerned about looking ridiculous? An arm sling looks ridiculous, but he has no qualms about clucking like a chicken in front of the alien locals?

"Well if no one can see me right now, then I could take it off, and no one would know," Daniel said with equal parts reason and attitude.

"I'd know."

"Then how can it be true that no one can see me right now?"

"I don't count." Jack cut off any obvious, smart-mouthed remarks by holding up the pan in his hands. "Hey look," he said brightly. "Pizza." He would've preferred delivery. But seeing as it was about six in the morning, frozen would have to do.

Daniel couldn't cross his arms. That as much as anything seemed to add to his lousy mood. "I don't want pizza."

Patience shouldn't be this hard to hold onto. He'd wanted pizza twenty minutes ago. "Well, what do you want?"

Eyes downcast, and he muttered, "A little credibility would be nice." The slightly hurt tone really was not fair. It wasn't Jack's fault the kid had come back spouting stories of alternate realities and invader Teal'cs and all the kind of stuff people generally only talk about in Internet chat rooms or with their therapists. But Daniel had expected Jack to believe him. And Jack would have loved to have been able to. He just couldn't. So there was the betrayal and the hurt Daniel was generously trying to bury under a boatload of petulance.

"Hey." Jack waited until the blue eyes looked up at him. "I don't think you're lying. Or crazy."

"You just think I'm wrong," he said quietly.

"Daniel…please. Can we just save this for later? I'm begging you here."

"Fine." He rolled his eyes at the ceiling and sat back into the cushions. "Do you know what will really take the fun out of saying 'I told you so'?" he asked mopily to no one in particular. "The destruction of Earth."

"Daniel?"

"Fine." He rubbed an imaginary spot on the sofa arm. Bit his lip for a second and glanced up. "You don't think they'll really shut down the Program, do you?" he asked like he just had to make sure.

"It would be the single most misinformed act of stupidity in U.S. history." In other words…it was a possibility. A scary possibility. But _surely_ they wouldn't actually…

Daniel looked worried. "So in other words…"

"Daniel," Jack cut him off before he could echo his own thoughts. "That's enough. We have to be back at the base in eight hours. You're supposed to be resting. Recuperating. This does sound familiar, right?"

"Devastatingly." Daniel tilted his head back on the couch for a second. Then his head tipped forward, and he reached for the remote. "I think I'll stay up and…"

Jack grabbed the remote. "Are you kidding me?"

"You can go to bed." He actually shooed him with his good hand. "I'm fine. I'm just not tired." The circles under his eyes disagreed. Still he held out his hand for the remote. "Kind of in the mood for some comedy."

"You mean one of those historical documentaries?"

"Historical. Ha. Good one. That joke gets me every time."

What a snot. Jack would never admit it, but watching history programs with Daniel could actually be downright entertaining. The boy could mock. Mercilessly. On-world Jack thought Sarcastic Daniel was hilarious. Off-world or in meetings with the brass, he generally worried about Sarcastic Daniel getting his skinny, smart-aleck backside handed to him.

But if Daniel was busily tearing some academic's presentation to shreds, he definitely would not be getting the prescribed amount of rest. Better to find something that had no chance of interesting him. "You know what? It's Saturday morning. You know what happens on Saturday mornings?" Jack clicked on the TV and flipped through a couple channels until he found what he was looking for. Perfect. He put just enough excitement in his voice to be irritating, "Cartoons."

Daniel looked unimpressed. "I liked your other joke better."

On the screen there came the opening music to something with monkeys running around in space, flying ships, shooting lasers, and grabbing things with their monkey finger-toes. Fighting and explosions and obnoxious sound effects and everything that was inherently cartoon.

Jack sat next to Daniel, making sure to keep the remote well out of reach. Daniel stared at him flatly. Said with utter seriousness, "I will give you five hundred dollars for that remote."

He could afford it, too. And yet, "Nah. Not worth it."

The opening music faded as an announcer voice proclaimed with gusto, _"Captain Simian. And the Spaaaace Monkeeeys…"_

Daniel quirked an eyebrow. "Six hundred dollars?"

"Shut up. You're the one who wanted to watch TV."

A giant gorilla in a space suit was onscreen mumbling something about constellations.

"Jack, you can't be serious. This is a cartoon. It's not enough you make me sit through _The_ _Simpsons_? This is a cartoon made for actual children. And it's misleading. That is a _gorilla_. Not a monkey. And that other guy's a chimp. Chimps aren't monkeys either. They're both apes. Monkeys have tails."

"You're right. Better call in to their fact checker. Kids are going to be really upset over this." Jack tried not to encourage him. The idea was for him to get bored enough to pass out.

"What could possibly be redeemable about this…?"

He was interrupted by the TV, _"Those constellations only look like that from the Milky Way, Gor. We've wormholed into a whole new galaxy."_

Daniel closed his mouth, looking at what appeared to be the leader monkey—correction: ape—who sat in a pilot's chair aboard the space ship with some kind of bomber jacket and hair like Tom Cruise. "Did he just say _wormholed_?"

Huh. "I believe he did."

Daniel's face morphed into the one Jack referred to as Interested Daniel Number 3, with eyebrows knit inquisitively and lips slightly pursed. It was a harmless one. He'd started cataloging Daniel's facial expressions when he realized that Interested Daniel Number 6 usually preceded some kind of ancient structural collapse.

In any case, it got the kid to shut his mouth and just watch the show. He even reached out and took a slice of pizza without seeming to realize it. This was working out better and better. Daniel stayed quiet a few minutes while the team traveled through a wormhole to answer a distress call. "Hm. You think that kind of looks like…?"

"Nope."

And by some magic, he kept watching. In addition to Tom Cruise—Captain Simian—there was a giant black gorilla called Gor, a female monkey named Shao Lin, an orangutan scientist called Dr. Splitz that seemed to have a split personality they called "Splitzy," and an annoying little spider monkey creatively named…Spydor. The primate team entered a hazardous-looking ship looking for the source of the distress call, all of them wearing protective space suits. Daniel made no comment until the captain said, _"Keep an eye out for signs of life. And don't. Touch. __**Anything**__."_

He glanced over at Jack. "Why does that sound so familiar?"

"Oh, please."

There was that little smirk. "Throw in a couple _Wizard of Oz_ references, and that ape captain is totally you."

"Don't see it. Resent it, in fact."

"Come on. He's even got a romantic tension thing going on with the female lead."

Jack swung his head to look at him, hardly believing what he just heard. "Are you on painkillers?"

"No."

"You're gonna want to be if you don't shut your mouth."

Daniel snorted and settled back next to him looking unrepentant.

It only took a few more minutes watching for the television to provide Jack with enough material for revenge. "You realize that spider monkey is based on you."

Daniel looked immediately affronted. "What?"

"Let's recap. He sneaks away first chance he gets. Has an obsession with alien rocks. And can't help but disobey orders not to touch."

"You…are…completely misrepresenting…"

"He's you with a tail."

Daniel pouted and they both watched as the alien accidentally let aboard the ship by Spydor wreaked havoc for the team. The alien that looked uncomfortably snake-like at the first. Daniel glanced at him uneasily and settled further into the couch. The alien began to grow into an acid-spitting beast. Much to the spider monkey's dismay.

Daniel muttered, "Psh. Me. Yeah, right. I would never wear that jumpsuit thing he wears. What is that? Pink?"

"I think it's...fuchsia."

"What is it with you and colors?"

The primate crew chased the alien until they lost track of it somewhere on their ship. The captain said, _"I wonder how that creature got onboard_." All of them looked accusingly at the spider monkey.

The monkey cringed. _"I thought it was a coconut."_ The captain looked horrified as the monkey babbled a nervous and not quite apologetic explanation. _"Yeah, I know, you gave an order. But you're always giving orders. Hey, it's your job. You give orders. You're an order-giving kind of guy—and I mean that in a good way, with all due respect to you and yours."_

The little monkey hid from his captain's wrath behind his big gorilla friend as Simian shouted, _"I'm gonna fry your butt for disobeying orders, mister! I…"_

Jack and Daniel looked uncomfortably at each other. Nooo. That wasn't them _at_ _all_. "Hey. Are those baboons voiced by Don Knotts?"

"I have no idea who that is."

They kept watching. There were a _lot_ of primate-themed puns. Then the female, Shao Lin, gave her captain a disapproving lecture about how they should try to communicate with the creature trying to kill them instead of shooting it. Jack raised an eyebrow. "Then again, maybe you're that chick."

"I am not the girl. If anything, Sam has to be the girl."

The girl ran out in front of the alien—which he knew, even though he'd never seen it, was a total parody of the alien from _Aliens_—with arms raised and no weapon. _"We mean you no harm. We seek only to understand you, and…"_ And the alien backhanded her right across the face and sent her flying.

"Oh, yeah. That's classic Jackson."

"I do not sound like that."

The captain caught the lady monkey. Very chivalrous. _"Understand it yet?"_

The female immediately scrambled out of his arms and took a fierce fighting stance. _"I understand I will kick its alien monkey buttocks!"_

Jack felt Daniel looking at him smugly. "Okay, you're right," Jack conceded. "That is Carter."

"But so is the scientist."

"Definitely. So that leaves…"

"Teal'c can't be that gorilla, Jack. The gorilla's the dumb one. No way is _Teal'c_ the dumb one."

"Hey, no arguments there. But, if each of us _has_ to be someone...the gorilla does take care of his friends." And there was the hugeness factor.

It wasn't too much later that the huge gorilla totally narked on the spider monkey about taking the rocks onboard. The little monkey looked exasperated. _"Gor? Gor. I guess we haven't covered the concept of __**keeping a secret**__!"_

"Okay, that's kind of a Teal'c thing," Daniel admitted. "Sometimes he's worse than you."

Jack grinned. In most arenas, Teal'c let Daniel get away with murder. But if the Jaffa thought their archaeologist was getting into dangerous territory, he did what any self-respecting babysitter or favorite uncle would do: he threatened to tell on him. "Well. That's not a compliment for anyone."

"Except Teal'c always phrases things as questions. 'DanielJackson. Is it wise to enter this structure? DanielJackson, wouldn't it be prudent to inform O'Neill of your location? DanielJackson, are you aware the locals seem to want to behead you?'"

"You do a pretty decent Teal'c."

"If the archaeology thing doesn't work out, I'm taking my Teal'c act on the road. Showbiz. My undiscovered dream."

"Mm. There's something the world's not ready for."

The show went on. The alien wreaked more havoc. Until the scientist devised a plan to capture it. Now that it was in his head, Jack couldn't help but keep seeing SG-1 where in reality there were only cartoon apes. So it actually grated on him when this Simian character called for volunteers to act as bait for the giant alien monster. What kind of a leader would do that? And then guess who volunteers? The little spider monkey of course. Because that's exactly what Daniel would do. Except Jack would never let his teammate do something so dangerous. Not on his life.

"This is crap," he muttered.

Daniel glanced at him, amused and knowing. "I love how seriously you take your cartoons."

"Shut up, Daniel."

"Yes, Captain."

In the end, the spider monkey did his job well, and his team was right where they were supposed to be to back him up and save the day. The little monkey learned a lesson about friendship and all that nonsense and still found a way to be annoying and get what he wanted. Jack looked over at Daniel during a break for a toy commercial, pleased to see his eyelids drooping.

"Hey, Daniel?" he asked quietly.

"Hm?"

He glanced back at the ad on TV. "What does 'Tamagotchi' mean? Is that a real word or what?"

"Mmm…I guess it's a combination of the Japanese words for 'friend' and…'egg.' Probably."

"Got it." The fact that Daniel hadn't launched into a ten minute monologue on the etymologies and roots and origins and possible mythological or cultural significance of the words proved he was getting sleepy. Mission accomplished.

"Think Cassie might want one?" Daniel asked, peering up at Jack through half-closed eyes.

"One what?"

"Tamagotchi…thing."

"I have no idea, Danny boy. Ask Fraiser after the meeting tonight. You ready to get to bed?"

Just then a familiar tune began to play on the television. The sounds of laser fire. Explosions. And there went that echoing announcer voice again. _"Captain Simian. And the Spaaaace Monkeeeys…"_

Daniel's eyes were already opening back up. Crap. "Oh. Hold on. There's another one on."

Jack groaned. They just had to be running a TV marathon. "Can I opt to take that six hundred dollars now?"

"Too late, Captain Simian. I wanna watch another episode of _Space Monkeys: SG-1_."

Fantastic. Of all the plans Jack would've thought would never backfire, this would be the one. He sat back with a sigh and grabbed the last slice of pizza. "Fine. Maybe you'll learn something about following orders."

In keeping with his luck, Daniel fell asleep halfway through the show, and Jack had to wake him, try to get him coherent, and lead him like a zombie to the guest room where he collapsed in a heap as soon as he was in range of the bed, leaving Jack to guide the sling over his head and off his arm, toss a blanket over him, and leave a bottle of Tylenol on the bedside table. He eased Daniel's glasses off his face and set them next to the bottle.

Before he left the room, Jack hesitated. He glanced at the bandaged wound high on Daniel's arm. Staff weapon burn. He shook his head. "Try not to fall down any rabbit holes this time," he said quietly. "And that was an _Alice in Wonderland_ reference by the way. Not a _Wizard of Oz_ reference. 'Cause I'm a deep well." Daniel didn't look impressed. Daniel looked asleep. Frankly, as long as Daniel wasn't disappearing for hours of impossible worry and wondering and then showing up with a blast wound on his arm, Daniel could look whatever way he wanted.

It didn't occur to Jack how tired he was until three minutes later when his head hit his pillow.

SG1SG1SG1SG1SG1SG1SG1SG1SG1SG1SG1SG1SG1SG1SG1SG1SG 1

Jack finished getting dressed and took a black cap out of his locker, pulling it on over his head. Teal'c had already gone with Carter to pick up their weapons. He looked over at Daniel who stood in front of his own locker, fully dressed. It usually took Daniel longer, but he was practically bouncing with nervous energy. Jack could relate. They were really doing this. And yes, every time they stepped through the Gate, there was the chance they wouldn't make it back. But all those times, they'd at least known they had Hammond and the SGC at their backs, standing ready to offer support if they needed it. This time, they didn't. This time they didn't even know what they were walking into.

Except Daniel, though. Daniel had an idea, didn't he. Or at least he had an idea of what would happen if they failed. And the thought of what would happen if they failed clearly scared him more than anything they might find on the other side of the Gate.

The night after the disastrous meeting with Kinsey and the news that they really were shutting down the Stargate, Daniel had stayed over. He'd been upset and stressed out and overtired and in pain. Convinced that the world was about to end and that he was the only one who could stop it and trying to figure out how. And maybe that was easier than trying to deal with the fact that his home had just been ripped away from him. Again. Taking the last hope of finding his wife and brother with it.

That night Jack woke up in the middle of the night to Daniel pounding on his bedroom door, frantically calling his name. He'd jumped out of bed, heart in his throat. The look on Daniel's face when Jack opened the door, he didn't think he'd ever forget.

"You know me, right?" Daniel had asked, pleaded, breathing hard, desperate and terrified. "You know who I am?" Standing there in his pajama pants, likely not fully awake, and even with sleep still clinging, his eyes were bright. The _fear_…it was like electricity shooting through him, sparking in his eyes, making him shake. Plain, raw fear.

Jack had been…shocked. And in the middle of the night, with the shock, it took him a moment to understand. A moment too long.

"Jack, it's _me!" _he'd begged, reaching out, grabbing Jack's arm with both hands. "Please!"

"Yeah," he'd said softly, overwhelmed. "Daniel, I know you. You're part of my team. It's okay. I know who you are, Danny. I know."

The relief in those blue eyes had been unbelievable. Daniel had let out a shaky sigh at the reality, his breathing gradually sorting itself out. He'd let go of Jack and stepped back; ducked his head, wrapped his arms around himself, nodding quickly. Pulling himself together. Kid was way too good at that.

It had taken awhile to get him settled on the couch. He'd bumped his arm on something at some point, and it was obviously bothering him. Burns hurt. Jack had wanted to check the wound but thought it'd be better to let Fraiser or Warner change the dressing in the morning than put Daniel through all that while he was already so shaken up. So he'd carefully set him up on the couch with blankets and pillows and had Daniel take some medicine. He still wouldn't take anything stronger than Tylenol. Nothing that would keep him under if he had another nightmare.

Jack didn't fight him. He'd learned that sometimes Daniel slept better on the couch. Especially after a nightmare. In a bedroom, there was just too much pressure to sleep. Just walls and a bed, and it was a room built basically for the purpose of sleeping. But a couch…a couch wasn't for sleeping at all. Just that if one happened to fall asleep on one, well, so be it. No pressure.

"So." Jack sat down on the coffee table facing him. "How bad was it?" he'd asked point blank.

"Jack?"

"On this…other Earth. How bad was it?"

"You believe me?"

"How bad?" Jack hadn't been willing to commit to believing. But he believed Daniel believed it. Right then, that was all that was important.

Daniel had swallowed. It spoke to his state of mind that he hadn't cared that Jack didn't answer his question. "Nobody knew who I was. I came out of that room, and you guys were gone. I thought you just…"

"You thought we left without you?" He'd tried to keep the edge out of his voice. He doubted he'd succeeded.

"I wasn't in any danger there," Daniel defended his thoughts. "It wouldn't have been wrong."

"Yes. It would." And silently, he'd promised _We would __**never**__ do that._

Daniel had glanced at him gratefully. Then he went on, "So I went back to Earth. Typed in my GDO code, same as always. Oh. It's a good thing they had the same GDO codes as we do. Huh. Dodged a—well, an iris—there." He'd nodded past the fact that he'd just realized he very easily could've been dead. "Anyway, it was all the same. Everything looked the same. Except they were pointing guns at me, and everyone was on edge and angry that I was there. You and Sam and Catherine…you looked at me like…it was just all wrong. And I kept trying to tell them, and no one would _listen_."

"But you got them to listen," Jack reminded.

"Yeah." He'd nodded. And seemed to be trying to convince himself when he'd said, "It wasn't that bad."

Except that Jack couldn't imagine that at all. Stepping through the Gate, expecting to be home, only to find out that the people who cared about you didn't know you from Adam.

"I'm okay now," Daniel had decided. "It was just…I had a bad dream. I'm done. Sorry I woke you up." The fact that he was only just then getting embarrassed was testament to how well and truly freaked out he'd been. "I just thought…sorry."

Very likely Jack would never know the whole story. Not in all its gory details. But he wondered what it was for Daniel to go to Jack for help and for Jack to stand there, look at him, and tell him he didn't even know him. As independent as the young archaeologist was, he, for some reason, had come to let himself rely on Jack. Maybe it had just been that the enormous trauma of everything on Abydos with Sha're had momentary lowered his defenses. But whatever it was, the kid had broken his rule and let himself lean on someone for once. And Jack let him lean. And here Jack was, looking at the leftover remnants of the evidence of what it would look like if he one day just stepped back and let the kid fall.

_Never gonna happen._ Jack didn't think he believed in alternate universes. "You know what I don't get? How'd the other me make it through the Abydos mission without you? Or…the other you?"

"Well obviously if I hadn't gone, you would've found a way." Daniel really believed that.

"Daniel, you took a staff blast for me. Doubt old Ra would've been as hospitable with the sarcophagus with me as he was for you. I would've been dead. Right then. Not to mention I was a little…"

"Unstable?"

"_Nuts_. At the time. I was ready to blow us all to kingdom come. But then you showed up..."

Daniel shook his head. "That was Skaara…"

"Don't interrupt. Yeah, Skaara got to me. But so did you. You _showed_ _up_. In a big way. All I wanted to do was not feel anything, and _you_ wouldn't let me get by with that." Somehow Dr. Daniel Jackson, the kid who showed up with just his glasses and his brain and his boots tied all wrong, the geek no one expected anything but headaches from, the man who was supposed to be weak and useless and a burden, had seen right through Col. Jack O'Neill. Reached into all those wounded places left after Charlie, the ones Skaara had unintentionally exposed, and relentlessly insisted that life still mattered. Even Jack's life still mattered.

"You solved all the puzzles. You found the way home. Now, I don't know anything about quantum whatever-it-is. But I do know that in _this_ universe, if you subtract Daniel Jackson from the equation, I'd be dead. The SGC wouldn't exist, at least not the way it is now. Sha're and Skaara and Kasuf and everyone else on Abydos would be dead. Daniel, I don't know what it was you saw. But that guy with my face who didn't know you—that wasn't me. Okay? _I_ know who you are. I know _exactly_ who you are."

Daniel had had his head ducked low, nodding with uncertain gratitude, and even in the dim lighting, Jack could see the quick swallowing, the tears pooling in the downcast blue eyes. He sniffed and finally looked up. "They're taking everything away, Jack. They're just going to bury it. It'll be like none of that ever happened. Like none of it _mattered_. Like we don't matter and Sam and Teal'c don't matter and everything Sha're and Skaara are going through doesn't _matter_! Like it didn't happen. Then Apophis will come and destroy everything, and no one will even know _why_."

He'd tried to duck his head again, but Jack caught his chin. "Hey." Daniel's tears didn't fall, and it was one of a thousand times Daniel Jackson's will was a stronger force than gravity. He'd all but glared at Jack, his anger directed at all those people getting a good night's sleep right then. All those people who wore suits to work and talked for a living and had no idea what they'd been through. What they'd sacrificed. Who they were.

"Hey," Jack said again, and he moved his hand around to squeeze the back of Daniel's neck. "We're gonna fight. Okay? We're gonna fight to get the Gate back. I promise. But whatever happens, George Bailey, you gotta know that your life here has made a difference. You're a part of SG-1. That doesn't ever get erased. Or forgotten. This is your reality."

Daniel had nodded then. Slowly. He'd been quiet for a long time. Then, "Can I ask you something, Jack?" he'd whispered.

"Sure."

Daniel looked at him seriously. And asked, "Who's George Bailey?"

Jack had blinked. "Are you serious?"

Daniel had gone back to sleep that night. Like he wasn't a freaky genius who too often carried the weight of the world on his shoulders. Like everything he'd fought and died for wasn't being threatened. Like he wasn't afraid of losing yet another family and the hope of finding the one that had been taken from him. Nope. He'd just gone to sleep. On the couch. And he'd woken up the next morning and convinced them all they needed to break every shred of protocol that existed and go through the Stargate to stop a nightmare before it came true. How did he do that?

Jack shut his locker. Daniel looked over at him, dressed in the black covert ops BDUs, tilting his chin up to look at Jack through the glasses that had slid down his nose, and looking almost hilariously unintimidating. Jack decided not to shake his head. "Hey. How's the arm?"

"Worse than a paper cut. Better than a ribbon device." Which could describe pretty much every level of pain there was. Daniel smiled and pushed up his glasses. "It's fine." He rotated his shoulder around to prove it. He fiddled with the strap on his night vision goggles. Let out a deep breath and looked down at himself. "We should wear the black gear all the time. We look awesome."

"We do," Jack agreed immediately. "It's too bad, though."

"What is?"

"This mission. We had to put it together so fast, there just wasn't time."

"Time for what?" The blue eyes widened quickly into Interested Daniel Number 2.

"It was supposed to be a surprise, but…the guys in supply just ordered you a new fuchsia space suit. Hasn't had time to come in yet."

Daniel's expression collapsed into the kind of scowl designed to hide sudden amusement. "People don't even think you're funny. Nobody. I have asked _every_ person if they think you're funny. They all say no."

"I don't remember you asking me. I think I'm hilarious." Jack didn't bother hiding his smirk. "You ready?

Daniel fiddled with a loop on his vest. "Completely."

"Anything else you want to tell me about the alternate reality or what have you before we leave?"

"Um." Daniel scratched the back of his head. "Teal'c had a weird…ponytail…thing," he volunteered.

"Well that does nothing for my peace of mind. But I _meant_ can you tell me anything about…"

"And Sam's hair was long."

That gave him pause. "Long?" Really? Huh. "Like…?" he gestured down to his elbow.

"Eh. More like…" Daniel indicated wispiness around his collarbone.

"Hm," Jack considered that.

"Yeah," Daniel nodded. There was a pause. "It looked good," he said with eyebrows.

Jack could picture it looking good. But he didn't like the smug way Daniel was looking at him. "Daniel."

"I'm just saying." Jack had seen that exact innocent expression work on countless other suckers. He might still occasionally fall prey to the puppy dog eyes, but the innocent blinking routine hadn't worked on him since their first mission.

"Stop looking like you're thinking something."

"I'm not thinking anything."

"Never thought I'd live to hear you say that."

SG1SG1SG1SG1SG1SG1SG1SG1SG1SG1SG1SG1SG1SG1SG1SG1SG 1SG1SG1SG1

Jack had lost count of the number of faces he'd passed, and all of them were smiling. Smiling and shaking his hand. Looking impressed, overjoyed, relieved. And why shouldn't they? Earth was saved. It was a good day. It was. After everything, they had succeeded. Saved literal _billions_ of lives. Because of the one person they'd lost.

Colonel Jack O'Neill had plenty of experience in burying his thoughts. So he buried them. And he put on a smile to match the ones on the faces he passed. He smiled at Carter, at Teal'c. He was so proud of them. Proud of his team. And he saw his smile reflected back at him on their faces. The kind of smile to cover weariness and loss and sorrow. SG-1 had been four. Now it was three. All of them felt that.

They hadn't talked about him yet. They would. They'd already had too much experience losing Daniel. And yet…didn't help.

That kid. That ridiculous kid. So much life and excitement and trust. Then bravery and determination and conscience. Then _"Just go. Go. I'll stay and watch your backs."_ Smoke and blood and terror. And Jack. Who'd already lost a kid. Unable to say anything at all.

His mind went back to that stupid cartoon of all places. Just a few days ago. Something stupid that was so utterly a Jack and Daniel moment. He remembered that poor excuse for a commanding officer letting a member of his team volunteer to play as bait. To face death to save his team. Because Jack would _never_ do that, right? A stupid, kids' cartoon. There hadn't been any real danger for the monkey, though. In cartoons, the good guys always win. Nobody ever expected the little monkey would actually die. Cartoons could get squashed and stretched and riddled with holes and…blown up.

There was more applause as Jack and his team entered the Gate room as heroes. Returned victorious. He smiled. Because it was Daniel's victory, and Jack would celebrate it for him. Jack would celebrate the victory of his planet today. He would mourn the loss of his world tomorrow.

"SG-1," General Hammond greeted warmly. He looked proud and excited. "There's somebody who'd like to see you."

Jack sensed movement and turned toward it. And there, like a miracle, impossibly, a floppy-haired, bespectacled, brilliant, geeky _lunatic_ was shouldering his awkward way past rows of hardened soldiers. It felt like Jack was watching a movie. It couldn't be. It absolutely could not be…

"Daniel." Carter's voice cut through his disbelief, and he could hear her wide smile and her enormous relief.

And Daniel just stood there. Grinning. Looking at all of them like _he'd_ thought _they_ were dead. Eyes filled with tears he refused to let fall because that paranoid kid would never cry in a roomful of people he worked with.

Jack moved forward. Reached out. And what do you know. He was real. Jack pulled him into a hug, squeezing tight. Daniel was just right there. Solid. Breathing. Real. And Daniel let him hug. Hugged him back even. Right there in front of everybody without so much as an eye roll or an embarrassed, teenager-like "Jaaack."

Jack laughed. Real and light and maybe slightly hysterical but nothing like the rigid smiles he'd been holding in place. This. This was what victory felt like. Nothing fake. Nothing that was about quiet brokenness and grief. All of them here. Together. Alive. _Oh, yeah. I know who you are, you little maniac. _

Daniel Jackson was absolutely a cartoon.

Jack ruffled the brown hair with a chuckle, deliriously grateful. "Space monkey," he practically chided as he pushed Daniel back, squeezed his neck, patted his face. "_Yeah_!"

Hadn't thought it would be possible. But Daniel's grin got even wider.

* * *

A/N: _Captain Simian and the Space Monkeys_ came out in 1996. So it seems _totally_ plausible it was on TV around the time these events occurred (like early 1998, right?). Most people I ask don't remember the series at all, so if you want to watch the _Space Monkeys _episode mentioned in the story, you can actually find it on Youtube. The events are just as described above. All the dialogue and whatnot are taken from the episode. Just search "Captain Simian and the Space Monkeys episode 3." The ep is titled "Ape-lian," and frankly, it's about 20 minutes of pure, unadulterated 90s cartoon. You owe it to yourself. ::Grin:: Hope you liked this trip down memory lane, 90s edition!_  
_


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